the house that wasn't a home

Our first house. Started in Microsoft Paint, yes PAINT. Husband wanted to custom design and build our first house, and so he did.

The beginning. I was so excited during this time. Not only was my first house being built, but I was also planning our wedding. I definitely had on a brand new pair of shiny rose-tinted glasses. And they looked damn good on me, let me tell you.

Our house was finished in December, just in time for our first Christmas as newlyweds. Boy was I thrilled!

We knew that when we built the house, we wouldn't be there long, 2 years max. I thought it was perfect, Italian girl that had never left home, 24, recently married, beautiful new home, baby, repeat. That was my life-long plan. Well,  the first half of my life-long plan was working out quite nicely, married young to an amazing man, who built me a beautiful home, and then it just, stopped. We did not know that the grey coloured wall in the large spare bedroom, the one with the walk in closet, gorgeous morning light and FUTURE NURSERY written all over it, would remain grey, and unused. Except for the odd photography location, because the light in there was just that perfect. 

We loved the house. But it wasn't my dream house, nor was it perfect, but it was beautiful. We had very nice furniture, excellent stainless-steel appliances, hardwood floors, 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, and a finished basement. But it was empty to me. It wasn't my home. Husband would leave for work and many days I would sit on the couch and cry, and edit photos, and cry, and dream, and cry.  And wait. I did a lot of waiting. I would go to the FUTURE NURSERY room and sit on the shiny, hardwood floor and dream of what it should look like. I kept telling myself that it was going to happen, just be patient. I didn't care if it was blue or pink, I was just sick of grey. 

Well the day we left our first house, I walked through all of the rooms, bare grey walls, shiny hardwood floors, spotless. I stopped in the future nursery room, and was comfortaed by the thought that, it was indeed, going to be a nursery, for a real baby. The couple that bought our house were expecting their first child. For a few moments, alone in my big, empty first house, I was happy.

On the day we moved out...the future nursery room...in all it's glory

I will always remember my first house, that wasn't quite a home.